Obama will win an Emmy Award when He reads His Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech from the teleprompter on live TV.
Obama will win a Grammy Award for His connection to the now famous video of singing school children going "mmm mmm mmm."
Obama will the Academy Award for best special effects for appearing to deserve more awards.
Obama will win a Tony Award when He gives the next State of the Union address live from Broadway's Majestic Theater.
Obama will win the Pulitzer Prize after announcing a deal to write His "next" (as opposed to "first") book, documenting how awesome He is.
Obama will be named class valedictorian from Oxford University on the great potential He shows as a possible future student.
Finally, next year, Obama will win a second Nobel prize, but this time for Physics, for His role in the groundbreaking new research into the "nothing equalling everything" grand unification theory.