Army meets recruiting goals

Well, this is good news.  But why had recruiting for the U.S. Army been down of late?  Some blame the war, and the resulting negative media coverage.  But I disagree.  Oh sure, the war and public perception based on anti-military media bias has had some effect.  But I think more blame can be found in the piss-poor quality of television advertising for the Army.  After all, during this same war, with this same anti-military "news" reporting going on, the Marine Corps continually exceeds its goals.  Navy and Air Force at least consistently meet their goals.  Just not Army.

Have you seen the television commercials?

If you watch much television at all, you can't miss the commercials.  They play all the time on a variety of stations with a variety of content.  It's a big campaign.

When you see a commercial for the Marine Corps, you see good looking, physically fit people, in great uniforms, blowing stuff up.  There is rousing music.  The emphasis is on things like courage, duty, pride, and America.  I see a commercial for the Marine Corps, and I want to lug my overweight, middle-aged body down to the recruiter's office and yell OOH RAH!

(The Gullybabe sees Marine Corps commercials, and wishes I were a Marine.)

Navy and Air Force commercials aren't quite as effective, but they are still good.  They show people on ships or on runways, working with high tech equipment, while jets fly overhead and energetic music plays.  While not quite as exciting as a Marine Corps commercial, they nonetheless convey the message that if you join the Navy or Air Force, you will be part of a proud organization doing incredible things to serve the country.

Then there are the Army commercials.  What in God's Name are they thinking?

Army commercials started going to Hell with that whole "Army of One" nonsense.  The Army is supposed to be a TEAM.  One of the reasons to join is to become part of something larger and more meaningful than the self.  The message of "Army of One" appeals to the sort of individualist who is less likely to want to commit to service, instead of the sort of team players who will be drawn to an organization where they will be part of a larger mission.  These commercials need to be replaced with "Join the Army and be part of a winning TEAM" commercials.

Then there are all those "join the Army for the benefits" commercials.  Hello?  McFly?  WE ARE AT WAR!  People know we are at war.  The message should be "join the Army to do your DUTY" not "join the Army so you can qualify for VA benefits."  When people are weighing options, considering pros and cons, getting a better interest rate on a first home loan 10 years down the road is NOT going to offset the possibility of being shot repeatedly with an AK-47 now.  When potential recruits face the possibility of death, the cause needs to be worth dying for.  These commercials need to be replaced with "Ask not what your country can do for you; ask what YOU can do for your COUNTRY" commercials.

But the worst of all are the "I want to be a grown up" commercials.  You have probably seen this one: a young man (African-American, of course), is trying to convince his Momma that the Army is OK.  He's busy telling her about college tuition while she looks at him as if he is still a five-year old.  He's like "really Momma, it's a good thing and look at me, I'm all grown up now."  I DO NOT WANT SOLDIERS WHO HAVE TO CONVINCE MOMMA THAT THEY ARE ALL GROWN UP.  I want soldiers who know they are grown up, and are already acting in a way that the people around them recognize they are grown up without having to be told.  These commercials need to replaced with "Army: where REAL MEN serve" commercials.

And in all three cases, the replacement commercials need to feature buff men and hot women in sharp uniforms shooting guns and blowing up stuff while energetic music plays and a narrator talks about how great America is.  It would also help if the commercials featured some of the people in uniform stepping off a train and being greeted by extremely attractive members of the opposite sex, to remind us that everyone looks better to the opposite sex while wearing a uniform.  Imagine you are an impressionable 17 year old punk thinking for the first time about what to do when you finish high school.  Then you see a commercial where some guy in uniform has a totally hot babe leap into his arms.  Maybe this could be your wake up call that the way to get hot chicks is not to be the bass player in a garage band full of drop outs...

THAT would get recruiting up 200% by the end of the year.  Guaranteed!

Comments

[Kelly]

This has nothing to do with your post, but I wanted to let you know that I think I've repaired the Viking Kittens link on my blog where you left a comment earlier about the error message. Just wanted to let you know! Cheers! :)

[Gullyborg]

Thanks! Ummm... go check out the Viking Kittens! NOW!

[niloniak]

I agree:
Marines - wanna have one to play with and pet for about 48 hours
Air Force/Navy: would consider as good marriage material, probably a smart guy
Army: mama's boy with an ugly outfit
'nuff said

[ranger]

I pity the sucker who signs up these days solely for the VA benefits...

Bait. Switch.

[Kelly]

Ha -I have to agree with your post. My husband comments about it all the time - how the Navyand Marine ads make him want to go kick ass -heck even the Air Force ones are pretty freakin' cool- and the Army - well, they just don't have the right commercial people. I knew a fellow who did Army PR when the whole "Army of One" thing came out and he said his whole PAO office groaned and moaned about it since "Army of ONE" is definitely NOT the kind of attitude they want their soldiers to have - since the whole idea of an Army is the unit - the TEAM. Anyway, suffice it to say, you probably have a point in your post here. Heh.

[spacemonkey]

Gullyborg, dead.smack.on.

good post.

[FMIL]

Heck, Gully ... *I* wish you were a marine! How could I ask for more than that to support my daughter??

But, much as we might like to look at the Marines, we all know the *smart* ones go into the Air Force ...

Seriously, though, a dear friend of mine who recently retired from the Army said he knew of more and more people who were retiring ASAP or choosing not to re-up solely because of this whole Army of One campaign....in his case, though, he made the comment (although some may consider it politically incorrect ... well, 'SCUSE ME) that more and more illegals were enlisting so they could get their citizenship, making it more and more an Army of Juan, with lots of Latino-specfic cultural attitudes, etc.

And one more thing ... If these guys are choosing to joing OUR Army, then they'd dang well better adopt our culture and get their families speaking English and encouraging their friends and families to respect our border ... or they can go home!

[Sebastian]

Agree with everything except the bass player thing. Guys in bands still get the hottest chicks. Well, not bass players...guitar players and singers. But you get the point. And drummers never get laid.

Army of Juan? You shouldn't gripe FMIL, if there's one place where you can make people drop their attitudes and conform, it's the military.

[MCPO Airdale]

I always laugh when the Army commercials come on. I figure each one translates into a recruit for the Navy of Marine Coprs.

As for the "Army of Juan" crack. I think that is totally out of line. Go check out the number of Medal of Honor winners that were Hispanic. If someone serves this country, under fire, don't they deserve to have their citizenship request expedited??

[Gullyborg]

Sebastian:

Musicians (even bass players) who have TALENT and are in GOOD BANDS get good chicks. But 99% of the posers out there don't fall into this category. They will be far better off romantically if they give up the bass, stop hanging out with the stoned groupies, and find themselves a decent, patriotic WOMAN who wants a REAL MAN!

[Lornkanaga]

As for Mamma looking at son like he's five and son telling Mamma "I'm all grown up"--Mamma will *always* look at son like he's five--he's her baby and he will always be her baby.

[FMIL]

Wow ... so I made a "crack" .. um ... me interjecting with an observation made by a friend about his experience in the Army is "out of line"? ... K ... get a grip. I didn't say that was *my* position, but a friend who spent 25 years in the military. It may not be your experience or your observation, but that doesn't make that person's experience or observation invalid because it doesn't jive with yours. I just thought it would be interesting to throw into the mix what someone else had thought.

As for hispanic medal of honor winners ... first of all, the PC "hispanic" crowd *hates* the term "Hispanic" because it implies the person is of *Spanish* descent, which I understand is offensive to some. The correct PC term is "latino" or "latina" ... if you're going to get thin-skinned on the behalf of an ethnic group, at least get thin-skinned in the most PC way possible. Secondly, just because a medal of honor winner has a latino surname in no way indicates that they are/were non-citizens. Don't you think that's a rather broad assumption?

My "crack" about non-citizens joining our army in order to gain citizenship stands. In fact, I don't care if the person coming to this country joins the military or not .. if someone immigrates to the US, they need to respect our borders, our language and our culture. This is supposed to be a melting pot, not an hors d'ouvre tray. Anyone who decides to come to our country and supposedly become a citizen, they need to take steps to become one of us, not expect the general population to make concession after concession on their behalf because they refuse to adopt the ways of their "new" land.

"You shouldn't gripe, FMIL. If there's one place where you can make people drop their attitudes and conform, it's the military."

Well, that sure didn't work for my step-brother ... he refused to conform and be made into a man (would've done him a world of good, lemme tell ya), was beaten up by his barracks mates because of it, and was asked to leave the Army. I wish it weren't so, but while the military often turns a wayward soul toward the right direction, a better calling for them, you have to actually be looking for direction on *some* level. Charlie didn't.

[Gullyborg]

As an American of Mexican descent, I object to be called "hispanic."