Resistance is futile!

Finished!

And I can't believe it turned out Snape was Harry's real father!

"Intellectuals" are anything but

This might be the stupidest thing I've ever read.

What the?

I caught parts of some Portland radio show the other day where they apparently interviewed all the candidates for Governor.  I only caught parts, so I don't know how the overall thing went.  But I did catch the bits where they were asking questions of Ben Westlund and Ron Saxton.  And as far as I know, this was REAL and not some joke.  But after hearing these bits, I have doubts...

What I learned about Ben Westlund:

I know all about his stand on issues because I have READ all about them.  This was the first I actually HEARD him speak.

Wow.  Just.  Wow.  Ben Westlund, on radio, sounds like the biggest GEEK in the entire world.  I thought I was listening to "Comic Book Guy" from the Simpsons.  In D&D terms, we are talking Charisma in the low single digits.  Yikes.  And then he comes off as the least technically capable person when, during the part about some personal, non-political stuff, he says he doesn't know anything about i-Pods and isn't able to feed himself out of his own refrigerator.  Oh, and he doesn't like beer.

Argh.  So much for the "Westlund alternative" if the GOP nominates a loser... Speaking of which...

Then, after being away from the radio for a bit, I heard some of Ron Saxton and learned during his session with the personal questions the following:

Ron Saxton also does not like beer.

Ron Saxton has all jazz in his i-Pod.

Ron Saxton likes milk and Graham crackers for a snack.

Worst: Ron Saxton prefers Katie Couric to The Daily Show.

Not exactly useful information, just fluff.  But come on, what's with both these guys not liking beer?  Does Oregon need a leader who doesn't appreciate our fine microbrewed ales?

If anyone heard the rest of this show with the other candidates, please help fill in the gaps.  And have some beer.

I think I'm done watching Tom Cruise movies

Granted, I don't think I've seen any film with Tom Cruise since the first (and laughably bad) Mission Impossible.  Still, I believe I have to say Mr. Cruise is so far off the deep end that I must urge my readers to avoid enriching him further by paying for his work.

What set me off today?  How about CANNIBALISM?

Oh sure, he's not talking about killing anyone, but publicly stating he wants to consume his baby's placenta is just one step removed from tearing off a chunk of man-flesh for dinner.

I also don't want to reward the cult of Scientology, which gets huge donations from Cruise.  Don't even try to call Scientology a religion.  Even calling it a cult is an insult to cults.  The Heaven's Gate people, who all ate poisoned applesauce in matching jumpsuits after shaving their heads and castrating themselves, had a better grip on reality than the cult of Scientology: at least they were focused on a real comet visible in the sky, instead of believing they came here in Douglas DC-8 airliners 75 million years ago...

Think I'm exaggerating?  Read about the "space opera" of Xenu, and remember that Tom Cruise fundamentally believes this stuff.  Tom Cruise believes that he is an "Operational Thetan" who was imprisoned in a volcano and then exploded with a Hydrogen bomb by Xenu, the evil Galactic Dictator.  Tom Cruise believes he has been violated by the dreaded "R6 Implant," which makes us all believe in false concepts like "religion."

This isn't religion.  This is science-fiction.  It isn't even good science-fiction.  Trekkies are less unhinged.  Even freaks who call themselves Jedi are more spiritual, more religious, than Scientologists.  The real truth is, L. Ron Hubbard created a "church" of Scientology in order to avoid paying taxes on profits from his science-fiction and pseudo-self-help novels, while charging members outrageous fees.

Money.  It's that simple.

Maybe Tom is right and all of us "normal" people are the ones living in delusion.  But I doubt it.  And I don't want my money going towards Tom Cruise or the cult of Scientology.  You shouldn't, either.  So stop rewarding Cruise and the cult.  Stop watching his films.

Hail, Xenu!

Naval power in plastic

I don't usually post things from Terpsboy, because the site usually isn't fit for polite society.  But once in a while, a gem shines through the filth.  Check out the LEGO Aircraft Carrier:

See more glorious pictures of this incredible achievement in LEGO art, including detailed below deck shots, by clicking here.

CAUTION:

Do NOT click on any of the links there if you are easily offended, have a heart condition, or live in an Islamic nation.

This makes me sad...

A few days ago, Western Union stopped sending telegrams.

I am 35 years old, and in my lifetime I have never sent or received a telegram.  By the time I was old enough to need to communicate with people over a long distance, AT&T had already given way to competing long distance services, fax machines were getting popular, overnight mail was a growing industry, and geeks like me were discovering the joys of computer modems.  So it never dawned on me that telegrams were still even a part of modern life.

But, growing up on old movies and classic cartoons, I always knew what telegrams were and always thought it would be cool to get one.  Or send one.  Now, that time has gone for good.  I wish I had known about this a week ago.

I think that if Western Union had made a big deal about this, a lot of people like me would have rushed out for our one last chance to do something special.  I would have sent a telegram to the Gullybabe.  It would have said something simple like "let's have lunch stop call me stop."  That would have been a fun, goofy thing to do.  It would have made us both smile.

Now I'll never have a chance to send a telegram, nor will I ever receive one.

Poo.

An oldie...

...but a goodie!  Resurrecting this one from this time last year:

Here begins the deeds of Hrodulf...

You may have thought that the tale of Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer began with a song by Gene Autry.  But in actuality, the tale harkens back to the days of yore, passed on from generation to generation by the oral tales of Nordic bards, in the tradition of Beowulf, making its way into Saxon mythology, before ultimately becoming a classic stop-motion claymation Christmas television special.  Lo!

Incipit gestis Rudolphi rangifer tarandus

Hwæt, Hrodulf readnosa hrandeor --
Næfde þæt nieten unsciende næsðyrlas!
Glitenode and gladode godlice nosgrisele.
Ða hofberendas mid huscwordum hine gehefigodon;
Nolden þa geneatas Hrodulf næftig
To gomene hraniscum geador ætsomne.
Þa in Cristesmæsseæfne stormigum clommum,
Halga Claus þæt gemunde to him maðelode:
"Neahfreond nihteage nosubeorhtende!
Min hroden hrædwæn gelæd ðu, Hrodulf!"
Ða gelufodon hira laddeor þa lyftflogan --
Wæs glædnes and gliwdream; hornede sum gegieddode
"Hwæt, Hrodulf readnosa hrandeor,
Brad springð þin blæd: breme eart þu!"

You can read the translation here.

Carnivals!

Recipes!

Liberty!

Cats!

Gamers!

Capitalists!

Comedy!

Christianity!

And Puppy Blender hasn't done much carnival linking this week... perhaps readers can e-mail him and remind him about these (plus the Carnival of Cordite!).

Bashing Bush Bias

I heard Rush talking about this one on the drive in and had to go find it and post it:

We do not yet have teleporter or replicator technology like you saw on 'Star Trek' in college between hookah hits and waiting to pick up your worthless communications degree while the grown-ups actually engaged in the recovery effort were studying engineering.

Ouch!

This is a job for Godzilla!

Or perhaps some ninjas...

If I didn't know this was an actual news headline, I'd assume it was part of a bad Japanese action movie:

Robot Attacks Japanese Prime Minister!

Japan’s first mall-patrolling security robot, the T63 Artemis, took an instant dislike to Japan’s Prime Minister Junichiro Koizumi yesterday.  A simple meet-and-greet experience was obviously too much for the batty bot, which launched a smokescreen on contact.

This is for real!  My only questions are:

1) Is the T63 an early prototype for the T800 and T1000?

and,

2) Has anyone warned Sarah Connor?