Umm... hello? Have you even come within 20 feet of a straight man in the last 30 years? I mean, other than the bodyguard you sexually harassed? Of course, if he was part of your posse, he was probably gay, too...
Seriously, Buster from Arrested Development
We can tell you're the bride, as you are wearing white. But which one is the groom? Normally we would say, "the groom is the man in the wedding photo." Problem is, we just aren't sure who that would be in this case.
Liza, here is a tip for you:
If you want to enjoy sex again, stop hanging around with the GLBT crowd and find yourself a MAN. Not a person with a penis and testicles who also wears a dress and sings prettier than you do. Not a choreographer. Not a hairdresser. And probably not one of your bodyguards, either.
Try this:
Next Saturday night, instead of hanging out in a swanky bistro in the Village, fly to, oh, how about Tulsa. That's in Oklahoma. Not Oklahomo. You can find it on a map. It's in the big empty space in between Greenwich Village and San Francisco. Go to Tulsa; the people at JFK airport can get you there.
Don't wear a gown. In fact, don't wear anything you aren't willing to throw away. Ask the cabbie at the Tulsa airport to take to the nearest Wal-Mart. Once there, when the old guy at the front door greets you, tell him you need "women's wear." Grab the first employee you can find there, and just say "help me." She'll know what to do.
After you've been made all purdy, fetch another cab. Ask the driver to take you someplace where real men hang out. He'll know what to do.
Once you arrive at the cab driver's chosen C&W saloon, go in and have something to drink. Hint: what you should order will come in a pint glass, be yellow, and have a monosyllabic name. It should not come in stemware, be pink, or require an accent to properly pronounce. I am talking about beer.
You know, B-E-E-R.
I know you are an alcoholic, so I shouldn't be recommending drinks for you. But I also know you have never stayed on the wagon, so roll with it. You're going to get drunk anyway. It may as well be on something normal.
Just don't chase you beer with Valium like you normally do.
Once the evening starts to pick up, the singing will start. You probably won't know the songs, but the little TV screens have the words for you to read and the tunes are easy to pick up. Get up and sing. It's what you do well. Try something from the page on Patsy Cline
After you sing, expect several men to offer to buy you more beer. This is normal. This is what men do. Pick the man who looks the least like one of your normal suitors, then just shut up and let him take charge.
Trust me, the next morning, you will have a whole different outlook on the world...
...and green is the new red...
If you can follow that train of logic, then you can see why I am leaving the blog green for a while. If you can't follow that train (or if your train derailed), allow me to elaborate:
Oregon is usually considered to be a "blue" state. I want to make it RED. And that isn't as far fetched as it seems. Back in 2000, GWB lost this state by a far narrower margin than Kevin Mannix lost in the 2002 Governor's race.
In 2000, Bush really should not have won. Don't get me wrong: I am pleased with the outcome; I just believe that Gore blew it more than Bush won it.
Gore was the sitting VP, under a popular (albeit corrupt) President, in a time of relative peace and prosperity. His resume as a Representative, Senator, and Vice President gave him a lot of credibility. His war record, dubious though it was, still looked better to most than W's service in the Guard. And all the experts kept reminding us that Gore was more intellectual, a better communicator, and could pronounce the word "nuclear" correctly.
Still, Gore lost. Worse, forgetting all about Nader, the Supreme Court, Florida, and Katherine Harris, Gore lost his own home state and (like his predecessor), failed to carry a true majority of the popular vote.
Why?
BECAUSE THE NATION IS TRENDING CONSERVATIVE, AND THE PEOPLE REJECT LIBERAL IDEALS.
Sure, you can point to Bush's low popularity in the polls. But take that with a grain of salt: for one thing, the polls are highly stacked against the President (with a combination of push-poll questions and demographic weighting); second, many of the "negative" respondents are hard core conservatives dissatisfied with Bush (over record spending, failure to live up to promises like a defense of marriage amendment, etc.). If you add up the people who support the President and the unhappy folks who want a more conservative Commander-in-Chief, you get a solid majority.
Even in Oregon.
After all, for a "blue" state, we sure did get some solid majority wins on ballot measures like "one man, one woman." Doesn't sound very "progressive," does it?
So I believe that the right conservative Republican, one who can satisfy the principles of the far-right while at the same personally connecting to the moderate center, can pull off a big win here.
Blue is the new Red.
However... that whole color thing is sort of a mistake...
Why do we call Republican states "red" when, for years, red was associated with Soviet Russia and Communist China? It all goes back to an old election where a crummy (but popular) newspaper decided to start printing everything in color, instead of the usual black and white. They produced an electoral map, and arbitrarily chose red and blue to designate Republicans and democRats. Somehow, it caught on.
But many of us still continue to associate red with the international communist movement. And that is where the "green is the new red" comes in...
As Holly Swanson spells out, many of the leaders, organizers, and financiers of the modern environmental "green" movement are the stalwart communists who have been seeking the downfall of our capitalist western democratic civilization for several generations. The Soviet Union may have collapsed and the Berlin Wall torn down, but that is just a setback for these American fifth-columnist revolutionaries. They learned that they can't win on an openly Marxist platform, so they have adapted themselves to appeal to our emotions: everyone wants a clean world, right?
Seriously, read the book:
Well, like I said, we all want a cleaner world, right? I don't know about you, but I like clean air. In the words of Foghorn Leghorn, "my lungs crave air!" But what separates me from the "green" movement? Simple:
I do not believe that we must impede capitalism in order to save the world. Indeed, I believe that we must EMBRACE capitalism in order to save the world.
The great thing about American capitalism is that it allows the most efficient solutions to problems to come forward. No other nation has produced as many life-improving innovations as America. From medicines to satellites to computers to aircraft to superconductors, no other nation has provided so much to the world. We didn't do it with government control of industry. We did it because we have fewer burdens on innovation, fewer obstacles in the way of achievement.
You want to make the world cleaner? Get the government out of the way!
Government obstacles have taken away any incentive for power companies to produce newer, more efficient power plants. Because of idiotic regulation, it is better for a power company to allow an outdated, pollution emitting system to remain on-line long past its useful lifetime than it is for the power company to build a better power plant.
Don't even get me started on nuclear power (perhaps the only thing France has done right)...
Plastics, which result in more pollution and more fossil fuel depletion than wood and paper products, have taken over in light industry. Why? It's not because plastics are inherently cheaper and better. It's because timber regulation has artificially raised the cost of paper and wood products (which cause less pollution and are naturally renewable) to the point where it makes more sense for manufacturers to covert as much as possible over to plastic.
By the way, when industry uses paper and wood products, American loggers make money and keep that money in America. But when we switch to plastics, we subsidize foreign oil companies. You know, the people who we won't allow to run our ports because we are afraid of terrorism...
What happens when you allow a free market system to force companies to continuously improve their production methods in order to lower prices? You know, traditional competition?
You reduce waste. Waste costs money. And pollution is waste.
The more efficient a company becomes as a result of reducing costs to beat the competition, the less pollution is produced. Free market competition leads to less pollution. Regulation defeats this objective in two ways: it creates artificial costs that make more efficient methods more expensive, and it stymies technological innovation. Why invest in a better way to do business if the government is going to add artificial costs to your improvement? Why risk your capital developing new technologies if government regulation is going to reduce your bottom line?
The more the government tries to control industry in an attempt to save the environment, the less industry can do to save the environment.
And here is the problem we conservative Republicans face: we allow the green movement to label us an anti-environment, when the more accurate statement is that they are anti-capitalist.
Again, I like clean air. I like clean water. And, to be brutally honest, I can't think of a single conservative Republican who thinks otherwise. In fact, that conservative Republican candidate for Governor I like so much, Jason Atkinson, is an avid fly-fisherman who probably cares more about clean water than anyone else running for office.
But we allow ourselves to be held hostage by an environmental movement by letting them control the terms of the debate. We say "let's get the government out of the way of industry" and they say "Bush wants to put arsenic in your drinking water." We say "let's not burden ourselves by signing on to the ineffective Kyoto protocols," and they say "Bush is causing global warming."
Don't even get me started on the whole global warming canard...
So I say we take the language back from the lying anti-Americans out to destroy capitalism.
I am going GREEN because I like clean air and clean water, and I believe the best way to achieve it is to elect REPUBLICANS who will cut the bureaucracy and allow free market innovations to lead us into the new millennium. I encourage all stout-hearted right-wingers to embrace the color green.
Green is the new red, and red is the new blue. Kick a democRat out of office to make the world a cleaner, healthier place.
As such, the blog stays green. Enjoy the new look.
I am hitting the road for Dorchester momentarily. I hope to see some of you readers there. I won't be posting much over the weekend, but to keep you entertained, check out this latest press release from the Jason Atkinson for Governor of Oregon Campaign and my commentary below it:
A late February poll by Rasmussen Reports showed Jason Atkinson as the candidate with the best chance of beating Governor Kulongoski in Fall. All three Republican gubernatorial candidates trailed the Governor at this early stage of the campaign, but Atkinson was just 12 points back, Saxton 14 points and Mannix 15 points.
As a State Senator, Jason Atkinson compiled an outstanding record on behalf of Oregon's veterans during the 2005 Legislative Session. Jason supported 10 different pieces of legislation that helped or honored our veterans. Jason supported making it easier for veterans to buy homes, tripling education benefits for veterans, and providing financial assistance to Oregon National Guard families.
This weekend Jason Atkinson will be at the annual Dorchester Conference in Seaside. There will be a debate among the three candidates on Friday night and a "straw poll" on Sunday morning. It's not too late to register for this fun political event - just go to www.dorchester.org. Early next week, Jason will be on the north Oregon coast, visiting with voters in Clatsop, Tillamook and Lincoln Counties.
There's probably no more perfect accessory to your ride than an Atkinson for Governor campaign bumper sticker. Two styles are available: "Atkinson for Governor" and "Sportsmen for Atkinson." Stop by or call the campaign office today and be the envy of the neighborhood.
Atkinson volunteer Emily Booth is contacting supporters who agreed to host coffee and small fundraising events for Jason. Meetings with small groups of voters are a great way for our campaign to reach out to our grassroots base. If you are interested in hosting such an event, please give Emily a call at 503-750-9153 or email [email protected].
Don't forget to check out the Atkinson Blogger Network. This group of over 20 independent reporters has lots of good information and campaign buzz from all around the state. Just search "Atkinson Blogger Network" on any fine internet search site.
Yes, readers, you heard it right: Atkinson is leading the pack! Isn't it high time the media recognized his campaign? And even though, as our best candidate, he is still behind Sleepy Ted, we shouldn't be discouraged: at this point in the election cycle, long before a nominee has been chosen to take on the incumbent, the incumbent has a huge institutional advantage. Expect Jason's numbers to skyrocket after he wins the nomination and people ready to replace Sleepy Ted have only a single viable candidate on whom to focus! One key number not shown here is that, against Mannix, Kulongoski wins majority support. But against Atkinson, he only receives a plurality. That means voters have already made up their minds in a hypothetical Teddy v. Kevin II race, and Kevin loses, again. But more voters are ready to consider an alternative to Teddy when the opponent is Atkinson. This means Atkinson can pull ahead and win the general election!
Veterans: you should ALL be supporting Atkinson. And I'm not just being a partisan here. Remember, I spent 6 years in the USAF, my Dad 30 years in the Navy, and I even spend last Spring working for the Chair of the State House Veterans Committee, Rep. Donna Nelson. I CARE about Veterans. I believe Jason is the best candidate to support our Oregonians in harm's way at a time when so many of our best and bravest are overseas defending freedom.
And "Sportsmen for Atkinson" bumper stickers are sure to get the point across. We need a Governor who actually understands sportsmen, hunting, and the Right to Bear Arms. A man like this.
Finally, did you notice that the Atkinson Bloggers are getting official notice? This press release went out to many in the mainstream media. If you are a blogger and you like what you see in Jason Atkinson, then please drop me a line and join our network. As the campaign heats up, this will GUARANTEE that your blog will get more notice from people who move in political circles.
So now I am off. See some of y'all there!
If you are a regular reader, you know that every weekend I run the Carnival of Cordite. Well, this week I had to delay that for a few days because of something very important that happened right here, on the campus of my law school, yesterday morning. The Carnival will be up later today (update: here it is!). But if, like most of my Carnival readers, you are a patriotic American that appreciates national sovereignty, you will need to read this post!
Yesterday, Saturday, February 11, 2006, the University of Oregon played host to a "carousel of information." If you aren't sure what that is, this post explains it all. You should be shocked and outraged. And you should demand that U of O President Dave Frohnmayer explain why his school - no, the PEOPLE'S school - played host to this event.
A "carousel of information" is a shady, half-public/half-underground system to help illegal aliens from Mexico obtain a matricula consular card, which can then be used as valid identification in the state of Oregon for the purpose of obtaining on Oregon driver's license. Obviously, once an illegal alien has obtained a state-issued driver's license, the door is open to illegal voting, illegal application for welfare benefits, illegal use of food stamps, illegal coverage under the Oregon health plan, etc.
So, in other words, this is a network to help illegal aliens infiltrate our society at taxpayer expense.
And it took place at the HEP Building, on the U of O campus.
I can't just stand idly by and ignore something like this going right under my nose, at the campus of my law school no less! Fortunately, I was far from alone...
What follows is a number of photographs from yesterday, along with links to other bloggers who have already written in more detail.
When I arrived on campus, the parking lot next to the HEP Building being used was blocked off by campus police. This parking lot also happens to be next to the law school building. I use it every day. I paid $90 for the right to park here. But not today! Notice one illegal alien is already arriving. He is allowed to enter the area the police have roped off. I was not.
This angle shows the law school, the large red brick building, in the background. The law school contains the law library, which is a public library open to all under Oregon law. Just don't park next to it.
After parking in a different lot, I walked around to the front. The other entrance/exit to this same parking lot is blocked off. Notice the campus police car lending its support to help illegal aliens.
Behind the HEP Building. Campus cops are doing their duty... to Mexico!
The State of Oregon and the University of Oregon think "public safety" includes helping illegal aliens thwart the system.
"Publicly owned" and "For official use only" seem to have some strange meaning with which I am not familiar...
Here is a state owned DHS vehicle arriving. This isn't just the Mexican consul. And it isn't just the U of O campus helping out. There are a number of state employees inside, helping illegal aliens get benefits like food stamps.
The state owned vehicle isn't parking where anyone can see it, or who comes out of it. It goes around the block. And in this photo, you can see the many patriotic Americans who I met today in protest of this event.
While the state owned vehicles park out of sight, mysterious private vehicles are allowed to move inside the barrier. Many of these vehicles have out of state plates. Many more have dealer plates. I guess there is good money in the illegal alien racket.
This car, inside the barrier next to the cop car, has California plates. What is a vehicle with California plates doing here?
Check out this expensive new van with dealer plates. Who is driving it? Why is this person allowed to drive in and park, when students with parking permits are denied access to this lot?
Who are these people, standing inside the barrier while illegals wait in line? That woman on the left is wearing a U of O name badge, but I can't get close enough to make out the name. Why are U of O staff helping out with this event? Why can't I, a student paying close to a hundred grand to this school, get an answer when I call out to this faculty member?
This gorgeous luxury SUV with dealer plates is being driven by the Mexican Consular. He came and went a lot.
This is the man helping Mexicans illegally come to America and collect welfare benefits.
And don't fall into the trap of believing that this is in any way meant to help LEGAL immigrants. One legal immigrant, with a valid green card, heard about this event and came to apply for a green card renewal. He mistakenly thought he could come here for legal immigration assistance. He was turned away. Be sure to follow this link for photos and audio. Here is the trashed form left by the immigrant who wanted to comply with the law:
So who exactly was here today in protest of this illegal assault on our national sovereignty?
The real leader of this effort is the blogger Daniel. And before you call Daniel some sort of anti-Mexican bigot, I met his wife and she is the loveliest Hispanic woman you will ever meet. She and Daniel are both the children of immigrants who came here LEGALLY.
Here is Daniel talking to a reporter from the Eugene Register-Guard newspaper. Notice the spin in the newspaper article! The first sentence:
Anti-immigration activists rallied Saturday in Eugene to oppose providing state social services to noncitizens and to criticize the Mexican consulate for issuing identification cards to immigrants.
Memo to the Red Guard: we are not anti-immigration. We are anti-ILLEGAL immigration. And we aren't opposed to "noncitizens." We are opposed to ILLEGAL ALIENS. There is a difference, as the man who came for a green card renewal found out. The only "immigrants" getting ID cards were illegal aliens, because legal immigrants with green cards DO NOT NEED A MATRICULA CARD.
Here is Daniel talking to a reporter from KEZI news:
You can hear the audio here, thanks to Vonski.
Other bloggers there included Vonski, Nick, Kate, Cherrill, and probably some others I am forgetting (check these other blogs; I am sure they will cover anyone I missed, and they all have a ton of information about the day's goings on).
Look at these patriotic Americans lining the street in front of the HEP Building.
Our folks eventually stretched all the way down to Agate Street.
Patriotic Americans line both sides of the street. The man with the camera is from the Coos County Citizen Caucus. People came here from all over the state to show their support for our national sovereignty. The head of Oregonians for Immigration Reform came to show support. So did Jim Feldkamp, who is running for Congress this year.
Thanks to the good people from Coos County Citizen Caucus and OFIR, many patriotic Americans were able to send in letters to Victoria Taft for Operation ID.
Here I am signing mine. Victoria should receive it shortly!
So now that we know who is on the side of America, who are the people coming to support illegal aliens?
Early on, these two came strolling up. When I snapped this photo, I heard the blonde say "did that f'ing a'hole take our f'ing picture?"
Yes, I did.
I am guessing the blonde is an American citizen. They let her friend go in, but she had to wait outside. This woman is helping an illegal alien infiltrate our society at taxpayer expense!
This blue van came and went repeatedly, each time with different people in it. It must be nice to have a shuttle service.
Lots of the people showing up for aid came in expensive new vehicles. They must make a lot of money doing "jobs no Americans will do." No wait... they just don't pay any income taxes...
These folks came... and parked illegally on the yellow line. Well, I guess if you are willing to illegally come to America and commit welfare fraud, a little think like parking laws isn't going to slow you down...
I think this woman is here to have her anchor baby. Or maybe she is just fat. Good think DHS is here to give her food stamps!
Here is the line of people waiting to go inside for their cards:
Remember, they just want to come here and work and be part of our society... Maybe someone should tell the guy in the Steeler's hat that if wants to assimilate in the Pacific Northwest a week after the Super Bowl, he should try the Seahawks...
As the day went on, plenty of people began to show up in support of the illegals:
What Daniel is pointing at here is the opposition hiding their own signs. That's right; they have signs to show us that they are supposedly supporting immigration, yet they go out of their way to hide them whenever one of us with a camera gets ready to take a photo! What do they have to hide?
Here they are, blocking the cameras from another sign. This one says "One Race, One Love" and has a "peace" symbol on it. Or maybe that is a Mercedes logo? I can't tell, because either way, they screwed it up.
Here they are, moving in front of another sign when the cameras come out. But notice that they don't mind taking photos of us - and notice that we let them! That girl on the left said to me, and I quote: "don't you put no pictures of my ass on no website."
I lost track of how many negatives where in her statement, so I ass-umed she was asking for it.
Here is a close up of the guy filming me:
So... he supports a convicted killer... who, as founder of the Crips gang, ordered the killing of a number of Hispanic and Asian immigrants... yeah, that makes sense...
This guy's t-shirt calls for terror attacks.
I can't tell if this person is supporting the illegal aliens or is just a typical U of O student. It's hard to say.
What I have chronicled here for you is just a smattering of the information gathered by bloggers. Be sure to follow the links to the other bloggers mentioned above for more photographs and information. And if you are outraged by this, here are some things you need to do:
1) Contact U of O President Frohnmayer and demand answers. If you are an alum, talk to the alumni association. Let them know what is really going on. And stop giving this school money!
2) Support candidates who will stop this travesty from happening. We need a man like Jim Feldkamp in Congress. We need Jason Atkinson as our governor. And don't be fooled by the talk on Lars Larson: when it comes to illegal immigration, Jason Atkinson is tougher than Ron Saxton!
3) Spread the word. Send this story to everyone you know! Tell Michelle Malkin, because we need a national voice like hers to expose this to all America!
I am a Renaissance Man!
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